The Sex Lives of College Girls: Mindy’s Declassified College Survival Guide

As a new school year is starting, I wanted to look back at one of the few shows set in college: The Sex Lives of College Girls. Created by Mindy Kaling, the show follows a set of four roommates starting their freshman year of college.  Season 1 follows a set of four roommates — Bela, Whitney, Leighton, and Kimberly — as they navigate their freshman year. Here are some tips inspired by the show to keep in mind as we enter a new school year!

Tip #1: get involved — and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there

College represents a new chapter in someone’s life, one that brings both a sense of freedom and uncertainty. The characters in The Sex Lives of College Girls find themselves in a new environment at the start of the season, and get involved in different ways: Whitney is on the soccer team, Kimberly is part of the work study program, and Bela joins the comedy paper.  It might seem daunting at first, but whatever you’re interested in, now is the time to try it!

Tip #2: follow your dreams, but know that plans can change

One of the show’s protagonists Bela is an Indian-American aspiring comedy writer (essentially a stand-in for Kaling herself). As soon as she gets to college, Bela knows what she wants to do: join the school paper and have sex. Bela gets a position at the school’s comedy paper, but is soon put into uncomfortable, inappropriate situations by one of the white male editors. The season ends with Bela leaving the paper with two other female writers, who then come up with the idea to start their own paper. It is completely normal to enter freshman year with expectations, but remember two things: plans change, and you are not alone — whether that be through friends/classmates you meet, or different supports available on campus. 

Tip #3: don’t feel pressured to define yourself

In The Sex Lives of College Girls, Leighton initially seems like the stereotypical sorority girl: white, wealthy, straight (her brother is trying to set her up with a friend, and it’s suggested that Leighton had expressed interest before). It turns out, however, that Leighton is struggling with her sexuality. She sneaks out to hook up with women, but otherwise presents herself as the aforementioned stereotype. Eventually, Leighton starts a relationship with Alicia, who is out and works at the women’s center. The relationship doesn’t last long because of Leighton’s insistence that it’s kept a secret, making Alicia feel as though she’s “being pushed back into the closet.” Leighton argues that she doesn’t want her sexuality to define her, and that once she reveals it, that’s all it would be. I honestly understand both sides of the argument. Alicia has already gone through the process of coming out, and is reliving that trauma by sneaking around with Leighton. Leighton is scared of things changing. It’s definitely not an easy process, and frankly unfair that only queer people have to deal with it. What it comes down to, I think, is only coming out when it feels right to you — not anyone else. Also, realize that you can’t change how society or other people see/label you, but you can change how you feel about yourself. 

Tip #4: find your people

Arguably the best part of The Sex Lives of College Girls is seeing how friendship develops between the four protagonists. Although they each come from different circumstances and backgrounds, and have different goals and interests, it’s clear that they grow to care for each other. With so much change happening around you, it’s important to have people in your corner. Make friends with your roommates, people in your dorm, clubs, classes — really, anywhere!

Tip #5: learn to manage your time, and ask for help if you need it!

With newfound freedom and responsibilities, it can be difficult to manage everything. In the show, Kimberly ends up missing an assignment and study time, because of her social life and because of her work-study position. Again, it can feel very overwhelming, but consider talking to professors or TAs about deadlines or extra credit assignments. Some are more strict than others, but most will want to help you succeed. You could also make a friend in each class, and keep each other accountable when it comes to assignments and studying. 

Tip #6: embrace the rollercoaster

College, and especially freshman year, can feel like a rollercoaster. One minute, you’re laughing with your new friends at a party and they start to feel like family; the next, you’re crying over a crush who broke your heart or stressing out over a mountain of essays and readings. That’s why it’s important to have a strong support network (see Tip #4!). 

Ultimately, The Sex Lives of College Girls is a show that perfectly depicts this rollercoaster — and a perfect show for anyone looking to get into the back-to-school feels, and maybe a little guidance on a new chapter of their life.