“Where Do I Apply For The Tortured Poets Department” Sabaitide Poetry
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Rhythm of the World
@sabaitide
There’s a rhythm to the world and I was off—beat
Broken hearts detour the best of us to think—to speak—to believe
From the bottom of my heart that I was in sync—in key—in peace
With the universe ‘cause that’s not what I heard.
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Lifted
@sabaitide
I’m lifted, gifted
Never gonna miss this
Chance is tactics
Playing without practice
Questions, answers (“ances”)
Is Pluto a planet?
That’s just nonsense
Or it’s what your mom says
Now I’m still with it
Checking off my wish list
And I’m still lifted
Axis slightly tilted
Listen, learn it
Not what you thought
It was and it has
Taken off, lifted
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Paper Wings
@sabaitide
I make a lot of random things so
I hope that you like my paper wings
I'm going to wear them to fly away
Because something stupid you said
Drove me off a freaking cliff again
Falling, falling, hoping to catch flight
Then my paper wings started to glide
Above the horizon and into the light
Until I got too close to the sun and
I fell from the sky
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Save It For Therapy
@sabaitide
With all positive affirmations put aside
I think there’s something weird with me
I should bottle my weirdness up inside
And just save all this weird for therapy
Maybe I shouldn’t express myself
‘Cause now you all know I’m weird
Weirder than how weird I thought I was
Now on the spectrum I’m way too weird
I’m so sorry if you have been affected
By the weirdness of my mental health
This is the most weird that I’ve ever been
And should probably keep this to myself
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Candid Insanity
@sabaitide
Chorus
When I open up my mind I should warn ya
I haven’t thought this out loud before ya
So thanks for listening to me
And my candid insanity
Verse
Growing up is weird to do
On my own thinking of you
Not that I’m love obsessed
Or need you for my happiness
I’m just glad that we’re friends
But you’re my biggest what if
Am I really telling you this?
I’m shaking ‘cause I’m so nervous
Chorus
When I open up my mind I should warn ya
I haven’t thought this out loud before ya
So thanks for listening to me
And my candid insanity
Verse
You probably weren’t expecting this
Now you know about my randomness
I’m sorry if you also feel this
Observing my awkward moment
But someday I’ll get over it
And forget about you again
‘Cause I know how this ends
I’ll probably be alone again
Chorus
When I open up my mind I should warn ya
I haven’t thought this out loud before ya
So thanks for listening to me
And my candid insanity
Verse
For some reason I still
Hope to see you again
Like it’ll answer a question
Lingering in my head
But I finally know why
I feel this way about you
It’s ‘cause you are the only
Thing I wish was real
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No Matter
@sabaitide
It don’t matter
What I think
Or say or do
What I like
Or share or don’t
I could post it
But I won’t
It don’t matter
What I see
Or I believe
What I read
Or I perceive
If I can’t take it
I can leave
Well it don’t matter
I don’t matter
It don’t matter
Anyway
No matter what
I do or don’t
The world won’t
Ever change
I’m overwhelmed
If you could tell me
Exactly what to say
To they, to who
And maybe you
That only you
Can change and
That’s what matters
Yeah you matter
In a world
So big and small
And all at once
‘Cause you baby
Are like the world
Wondering
What it was
And just because
You missed the cut
Don’t mean you’re
Not enough
No matter what
You matter and
We’ll figure
This one out
It don’t matter
How much money
Or how many
That you have
What matters is
That you keep trying
To do the best
You can
Beyond all our
Attention spans
Just wonder
What it matters
And what matters
Is what’s happening
And what will happen
Shortly after
While the stars
Are all out up there
Is something more
Grand than there is
And no matter
How it happens
You can make
The most of it
While the world turns
Only time will tell
The universe that
We all feel
As it unfolds
Just break the mold
From what you thought
That you’d once known
‘Cause the grand
Unfolding of the
Universe
Will be told in
Social media posts
And the story told
In hashtag mode
And other kinds
Of digi codes
Might not show
What matters though
Of what’s above
And so below
Don’t worry much
About it though
Even if you feel
You don’t
You matter and
You’re not alone
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Laying Low
@sabaitide
I’m laying low, aiming high
Burning slow, and getting by
Let it go, again I’ll try
I don’t know, enjoy the ride
When did I become so shy
To hide the special way I shine
I guess it kinda hurt inside
To not fit in and not know why
But I can’t change the way I am
To peer pressure for acceptance
My center has gotta be within
Not out there for my happiness
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Magic Conch
@sabaitide
Chorus
Call me up on my Magic Conch
And save me from this spell
Selling shells ain’t enough
To get me out of..
Hello Operator?
Please give me number 9
I’m tired of this bullshit
And pretending that I’m fine
Verse
Travelling through time and space
Please take me to a world aways
I’m drowning in the seas below
And dreaming of the skies above
Calling in on my Magic Conch
Hoping that I can talk to God
To ask for help here on earth
Please be the voice of reason
But the line’s busy, I gotta hold
Just have faith is what I’m told
Chorus
Call me up on my Magic Conch
And save me from this spell
Selling shells ain’t enough
To get me out of..
Hello Operator?
Please give me number 9
I’m tired of this bullshit
And pretending that I’m fine
Verse
Hold it up, Hold it up
Please don’t hang up
I’m not giving up just yet
Magic Conch, just say it
There’s more to this than meets the eye
And I hope to know before my time
‘Cause life’s a trap it’s a big bad dream
And we’re stuck calling this reality
So what do I do? Where do I go?
Just have faith is what I’m told
Chorus
Call me up on my Magic Conch
And save me from this spell
Selling shells ain’t enough
To get me out of..
Hello Operator?
Please give me number 9
I’m tired of this bullshit
And pretending that I’m fine
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Keep Swimming
@sabaitide
I love exploring
The great outdoors
Reading a good book
And writing a poem
Going to the beach
Sitting by the ocean
And looking at the water
Wondering where my life turned
Upside down, diagonally,
Tumbling on my side
Spit out just like the
Tide on the day I tried
To drown going out on
An innocent little swim
At the end of the levy
Where waves crash most heavily
Like the tide inside of my
Inner being but on that day
The water didn't pull me down
I looked up at the gray skies
With blurry eyes so out of
Touch I saw the vibes
And the voice that led me
To my end said
"Go and live your life again"
So I'm not afraid to camp
Alone after my misadventure
In the unknown, moonlit hikes
And spirit butterflies
Left me with lingering questions
And minor case of poison ivy
So I've been exploring
My mind and the world
For a sense of purpose
That I still don't know
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Back to Heaven
@sabaitide
You could've gone back to Heaven
From where you came
But you chose to love me
And I'll never be the same
My gentile life is futile
Obsessed with proving my worth
But your life is easy
It's of faith, not works
Grace you were given on
A sliver platter at church
Forgiveness is something
I wonder if I can ever earn
Because I know the alternate
Ending that I actually deserve
Wondering if I'll learn my lesson
before I leave this world
But you chose to love me
In a way I don't deserve
And every day I'm with you
Is like Heaven on earth
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About the Poet
Sabaitide (she/her) is a serial creative project starter from Santa Barbara, CA who enjoys discovering new ways to utilize her media and writing skills in an ongoing list of side projects. She is continuing to expand her art and writing portfolio as she captures the ups and downs of the creative process on her blog where the plotline of her life is that she will write a book someday. She is also the current Editor-in-Chief of Overachiever Magazine, an online platform for AANHPI women, non-binary individuals, and other gender minorities. As a graphic designer and website developer, Sabaitide is passionate about building community and creating opportunities for other Overachievers to pursue their creative callings.
Contact
Instagram: @sabaitide
Website: www.sabaitide.com