A Mantra for Us
The mantra that got me through some of my worst years was a quote that Glennon Doyle popularized from a teacher that she mentioned in her book, “Untamed.”
That mantra was, “We can do hard things.”
Not “I can do hard things” and not “You can do hard things.”
As I believe Glennon said, the “we” part is important because it means we, as a collective, can all do it together.
And some time later, I came across a second mantra that also helped me during times of distress. I took it from a longer quote that I saw on Instagram by therapist and author, Nedra Tawwab.
The mantra was, “Let it be hard.”
Those two mantras got me through some difficult times. And it wasn’t lost on me that they appear to be two mantras on the opposite ends of a spectrum.
“We can do hard things” is encouraging and inspiring. It helps push you to do what you need to do.
“Let it be hard” is about surrender.
Acceptance, even.
It can be about accepting that it’s hard, and we are just going to let it be hard in this moment.
And it’s okay – because we know we can do it. We can do hard things.
So, maybe not opposites, after all.
And more recently, having a word or theme of the year seems to be a new trend. It’s like the new New Year’s resolution.
For me, my word of the year for 2025 is “devotion” – devotion to my purpose and my writing.
That word, “devotion,” has been an essential mindshift for me and my writing practice because other people advise to be disciplined or be consistent, which never really resonated with me.
On the other hand, devotion doesn’t necessarily mean writing every minute of every day.
Devotion makes room for rest, the occasional procrastination, and more.
At the 2025 South by Southwest (SXSW) festival, writer, actress, producer, and entrepreneur Issa Rae said, “Procrastinate. Do it. Lean into it ’cause you’re going to do it anyway. And as long as you get it out of the way and make yourself feel guilty, you’ll go back to it and kill it. So, I lean into my procrastination.”
Lean into procrastination.
And make time for rest – and joy.
As long as I keep writing and keep at it over time, then, that’s more than enough.
And to me, it also means staying devoted to my writing – despite setbacks or rejections, such as not winning a contest or not getting published by a publication.
I just stay committed, I stay devoted for this year and beyond.
Devotion is, really, my word for life.
And devotion can apply to anything in your life as well.
Similar to the first two aforementioned mantras, I guess great mantras come in twos because another career-related mantra – but also life mantra – that I resonated with was from founder and publisher of Legacy Lit, Krishan Trotman.
“The goal is we do what we want,” she said in an interview.
To me – in the midst of job applications, writing contests, freelance writing opportunities, personal writing projects to be published, fellowships, grants, and residencies – doing what I want sounds divine.
And that’s the goal, especially as I’ve been reminded of some tedious human resources (HR) processes when applying for jobs again.
They will make you retype everything from your resume instead of giving you an option to upload it as is – and then, you have to do that for practically each and every job you apply for even in this day and age.
You have to go on job interviews wherein at some point on the call, you know it’s a waste of time.
And you have to deal with HR people who will contact you last minute, after hours, and via an unconventional mode of communication, and it’s apparently your fault that you didn’t reply, because they will rarely reschedule an interview or reply back anymore.
What happened to second chances?
My new lease on life is to, hopefully, get to the point where I can do what I want, and I don’t need to do job interviews anymore or fill out applications.
That may mean putting myself and my work out there more, but still, on my own terms.
For instance, I’ve contemplated being a content creator, but I don’t think constantly putting my face out there on the Internet is for me.
Instead, I’ll most likely kickstart that Substack or newsletter I’ve been meaning to write, continue to work on my memoir, and more.
If I resort to being a content creator – even if I don’t want to now or in the future – then, it renders the mantra moot because I’m not really doing what I want – even if that job may eventually give me financial freedom and the like.
Besides, I’ve come to truly realize that certain jobs aren’t the only way to have financial freedom or even a higher salary. It’s possible to achieve that doing what you love to do – even if it’s not one of the typical high-paying jobs.
And, as with anything, you can always pivot or change your mind.
The goal is to do what you want – on your terms.
The goal is to do what you truly want.
The goal is to do what you want. Period.
We can do hard things. Let it be hard. Devotion. The goal is to do what we want.
We – you and me.
Lock in.