30 Reflections on Turning 30
2025 is the year that I turned 30, but instead of throwing a large birthday bash to celebrate the new decade, I had a baby shower. It felt so weird, yet exciting at the same time, to transition into a new era of my life like this — where the changes weren’t only felt emotionally, but physically as well. My pregnancy has been a long season of pruning my life in ways I didn’t realize that I needed, and I’m so grateful for the time that I had to read, rest, and reflect.
Now, I am happy to share that I am a mother to the sweetest baby girl ever, and that I’m ready to be at peace with some of the things that used to keep me up at night (because pregnancy insomnia is no joke). A lot of it was accepting that I would never receive an apology or explanation from people who had hurt me and letting go of old friends who never met me halfway, but at the same time, knowing the love I deserve and standing up for myself inside my head. But I can’t stay mad because I understand that I am who I am today because of how I healed from what has happened to me, even the hardest parts.
I’m not just starting over by entering my thirties or reinventing myself here — I’m still me except that my life looks a lot different now with a baby, and that requires me to let go of some baggage and move on. I am going to make sure that my daughter will never feel the way that I once felt or make the same mistakes that I once made. Every stupid argument or person or thing that’s ever happened doesn’t even matter anymore. When I look at my baby, I feel a love so great that I know I’ve won — and I can be at peace with that.
Don’t look for love in the wrong people. God loves you and wants to give you the love you deserve.
If your crush is emotionally unavailable, don’t waste your time and energy on them. Go live your best life and let them regret not being part of it.
Remember when you used to believe that everything happens for some beautiful cosmic reason? Well, I’m so sorry that the world hurt you and made you forget about the dreamer that you are.
You can be the beam of sunshine you are and still not be liked by everyone.
If you expect people to have common sense, you’ll get mad when they don’t.
You did nothing wrong by asking to be treated right.
When people don’t respect your boundaries, don’t feel bad about reinforcing them. It’s not impolite to stand up for yourself.
Be kind and gracious to others, but know the respect you deserve.
Bullies will bully you because they feel bad about themselves, not because there’s anything actually wrong with you.
Don’t be afraid to tell your own version of the story. It’s probably better than what everyone else has said about you when you’re not around.
But at the same time, don’t feel like you have to explain yourself to people who will never listen.
They’re going to judge you anyway, but that doesn’t mean you should let others steal your peace.
If they wouldn’t defend you in a conversation where you weren’t present to defend yourself, they’re not your friends.
Eventually you’ll learn to speak up for yourself because you’ll find yourself in situations where no one else will.
Let them be wrong about you. You’re not the opinions of others.
Don’t wait for an apology that you’ll never receive. Move on and let them regret not treating you right.
Lean into being weird. Being normal never worked out for you anyway.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience, and I hope that shifts your perspective about yourself.
Your energy matters. Take all the time and space you need to feel like yourself again.
Healing doesn’t end—you are a continual work in progress.
Despite all of the BetterHelp ads that have targeted you, therapy is overpriced and overrated.
Art supplies and coffee dates with your friends are much more affordable.
Your creative hobbies are not silly. They are therapeutic and very necessary for your mental and emotional health.
You might not know what the bigger picture looks like at the beginning, but don’t let that stop you from getting started on your next creative side project.
You won’t bear fruit if you never plant the seeds. Trust in the creative process. It’ll make perfect sense one day—or maybe it won’t.
Remember who you are and where you come from. Be proud of how far you’ve come and don’t ever let the world make you forget who you are.
Don’t give up on yourself. Shit happens, but here’s some encouragement to dream harder.
God has an amazing purpose for your life. Whether you believe it or not, you are capable of so many good things and you’re here for a reason.
Set exciting goals to look forward to in life, yet be flexible with unexpected plot twists that may happen.
Have a great day, or not. The choice is yours.
