Will You Hurt Me Because I am Just an Asian Girl?
As part of the Special Feature on Asian Hate, we are featuring a piece by Elita Uch called “Will you hurt me because I am just an Asian girl?”
You willingly kill us from afar,
with your jokes, your stares and your mockery
You want to kill us safely from a distance
Knowing that we can never ever be safe
You blame us for everything yet you say "don't generalize"
Well then, how can you point at my eyes?
How can you sniff and turn away at my food?
How can you willingly look at me like a doll ready to be groped?
When you don't even know how society forces me tight in a rope?
How can you project your fantasies onto me?
Am I just an empty vessel to you void of dreams, goals, aspirations and a will?
You can't wilt me into a mould you want me to be. I am a Southeast Asian girl with ambitions larger than your pickle-sized brain.
I came from generations of mothers, grandmothers, sisters and aunties who have flown bravely past oceans, past borders and they are standing strong now.
Yet, on March 16th, we held our breath
Mothers are traumatized, aunties and grandmothers felt like their souls are vandalized
Families cannot cope when in your sick twisted mind you feel that this is justified
You think that you are high and mighty pointing fault at different countries
Did you even pass your geography class?
How could you sit there in silence
denying our horrors? Saying we are privileged, that we are closer to white?
Deep down, you know that's not true, right?
Why did a white man gun down our people, our women then? Where was our privilege?
You know it's not true when they came to our lands,
to colonize, hurt, erase, mock, kill, mock and hurt us.
Then you turn your backs on this history and say
"I love anime," "Chinese food is bomb," "I love Asian guys cuz of Kpop," "I can't be racist, I have xyz family members,"
How about my family members? How about every other Asian's family members?
Will they ever be the same? Will they start thinking twice before taking a walk outside?]
Will they look into each other's eyes fearing for their lives when random bystanders yell insults and try to hurt us deep inside? Are we not hurt enough?
This is not new
This sentiment and attacks of hate are not new
It existed way back when superiority was established
It existed way back when they tried to push us down, point fingers at us, delete our heritage
Now my whole being is depleted
I am tired of trying to educate
I am tired of you not listening and forming a gate around my words. I am tired.
Tired. Tired. Tired.
"Ma, won't they ever be tired of hurting us?" My mom stayed silent. There was no answer.
No answer for our hurt.
They think we're staying silent because we are okay with it.
But the truth is we were silenced by the societal pressures of being an Asian first before being a human.
Are we all not human?
The truth is I may need rest but I won't put this issue to rest
We will still fight
Even when there is no light
We will still hold you accountable
Even when you are being despicable
I will not stay silent when you
pull your eyes back and laugh
call me a chink
insult me by calling me a sex doll
casually say I am submissive
say that I am too weak or too soft to be bold
even though you know my stories are powerfully told
I will not stay silent when you
disregard me
make comments about how I'm small or tiny
disregard my Asian sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, aunties, uncles and everyone I know
I will not stay silent and I will make sure you will not stay silent too
We are not here to continue taking in
every "casual" joke, every belittling remark, every dehumanizing insult
I am standing my ground and you should too
We will stand our ground.
We will not tolerate hate and bursts of anger coming our way.
We will keep walking on for justice.
Justice for countless of names. Most importantly, justice for countless of lives taken away.
So remember and remember well...
When you see my people being attacked,
being harassed,
being bullied into silence
being objectified
Stand up for us. Protect us. Let us know that you are here for us. We fight together.
Together against the real enemy,
the real enemies that planted seeds of discrimination, hatred, blind faith, and misdirected anger.
Together, our common goal
Is to never see our elders and our youth bleeding on the ground.
To see a place where our children will never have to hear another insult again.
To live in peace with peace around us.
Will you listen to our voices now?
Will you help protect us now?
Elita U
#StopAsianHate #StopAAPIHate #ProtectAsianLives #AsianSolidarity