My Favorite Questions

My favorite question to be asked during my commute is “What’s your race?” I tell you
that I’m Asian, and you go, “No kidding, you’re so gorgeous.”
Wow. The first time I met my boyfriend, he didn’t bother to ask what my race was. That
honestly hurt my feelings because, clearly, my race makes up my entire personality and life. It’s
almost like he didn’t know me.
But you – you make me feel so much better about myself when you tell me how exotic
and oriental I am. I know yellow fever isn’t contagious and all, but with you, everything feels
sickenly sweet.

Sincerely,
Your Sweet Yellow Moon

Dear Idiot on Campus,
Your signature pickup line was “What type of Asian are you?” and I have to ask, do you
have a list? Where do you keep your list? Under your pillow? Behind the headboard? In your
sock drawer?
Because I’ve always wondered if you’re going to run home to your little list and record
that today, you finally met a Malaysian in Burnham Hall. The other day, you talked to a Korean
girl at work. Last week, you saw a Vietnamese girl at Starbucks. It turned out she was actually
from South America, but she can stay on the list. And the month before that, you harassed a
Chinese girl on the bus.
Oh, wait, that was some harsh language there... I mean, “harass” is a really big word.
You only told her that, for an Asian, her rack looked great.
I mean, if you ask me, I think that’s a super appropriate remark.
Compliments like, “Wow, you’re dumber than you look. It’s cute,” and “Damn, for an
Asian girl, you sure are feisty.”
Thanks for the compliments, I guess?

Sincerely,
Your Most Flattered Study Buddy

Dear TissueBoy,
I wonder how you’d feel if I were queer. I mean, what if I told you that I was an Asian
Lesbian? You’d get a huge kick out of that! I mean, two categories on the Hub? Insane. It would
be your biggest fantasy.

Sincerely,
@AsianGirlsRock69

Dear Rainbow Fanatic,
I’m sorry, I have a question, I just have to ask: Is my romantic worth measured by a
RAINBOW? With the white woman on this end, and the darker colored ladies on that end? The
quiet, submissive, yellow girl seated somewhere behind the white woman? Your spectrum
doesn’t even make sense. Because you only put Asian women on a high pedestal in the back
room where no one can see us. We are unseen and unheard, yet regarded so highly – like some
fantastic myth.
But we’re not your fantasy. And no one should be. We’re women, we’re people. And you
don’t get to check the Asian box, and keep us locked in that box.

Sincerely,
A Wild Animal