Just a Little in Love

Now in the season of love and with some fretting about not having a significant other to celebrate Valentine's day with, let us go over the many distinct categories of love that exist by exploring Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory, by Raphael Bob-Waksberg the creator of Bojack Horseman. This book covers many concepts of the fleeting love we experience throughout our lives through short stories. Many may think that they are not loved or unlovable if they do not have romantic partners, when in fact many of us are loved in more ways than we realize. Of course, we are loved by our parents, but we are also loved by friends, secret admirers, strangers on the street, relatives who visit once a year, and even our idols whom we look up to. It may seem cliche, but we experience love (somewhat) on the daily, though it may not be direct. This causes people to romanticize the possibilities we could have with the idea of romance, which is why we choose to focus on the ideal dream love that we want to experience instead. When opening up to the idea of self-love and accepting love all around us, waiting for our dream person to show up occurs when we least expect it, yet isn’t the only way we experience love. 

In the collection by Waksberg, each story explores different versions of love. In the first short story, a woman goes on a first date with a man she met online. They both head back to his place after dinner, where he hands her a can labeled  “SALTED CIRCUS CASHEW”. The label and nuanced print readings are normal at first stating the ingredients and calories but then slowly begin speaking to the reader in smaller fonts explaining that the only contents inside are cashews and not a rubber snake. There was no need to suggest that there is no snake in the can if it was just a normal can of cashews. Soon the print suggests that the girl open the can to enjoy some cashews or be scared of a possible fake snake. Waksberg uses the can as a metaphor for trust issues, assuming that the girl has been used and hurt before by other “cans” which is why she has become cold and numb to romance by not letting the next “cans” fool her. This suggests that the cans represent a man and the contents on the inside represent the man. But, this can insists that she be vulnerable and take the risk of opening up— then, maybe she will find real cashews but it all depends on her to take the risk and open the can and see if there are cashews or another snake that will ultimately rattle her. Ultimately, this story is about healing and finding genuine love (romantic or otherwise) through risk and taking chances on being vulnerable till the right person comes along.

Some of the shorter stories are snapshots of lived experiences of love, like two strangers who take the same route on a train, both admiring each other from afar but never truly connecting. There’s also the story of a man soul searching through dimensional exploration and having an affair with a woman in another dimension who is his wife in another universe, just  his. Or, a story about a woman's love life from a first-person perspective, putting the reader in her shoes as she tries to find love, going through several relationships trying to find “the one” but never feeling a spark. She looks for signs as her grandma insisted, and in her experience got married because monkeys laughed when her husband asked if they should marry, which was her sign to marry him. But in “your” case the only sign “you” get is a demolished building that used to be “your” home that you shared with a past lover. It wasn't meant to be, and neither will the next men to come along. Unless…? 

Another  story is about a young girl on a family trip with her deadbeat brother and her parents. During this story, the young girl takes a chance to connect with her brother when he is uninterested and treats her coldly, pushing her away to meet strange women for one-night stands. Slowly, however, the siblings begin to confide in one another and finally open up about their issues and how their father tainted their childhood. We find out they are half-siblings sharing a father, with the brother being the oldest and abandoned by the father to start a new family. The younger sister finally understands why her brother wants nothing to do with the family and why he resents their father. Meanwhile, the younger sister befriends another girl during the vacation and entrusts her to keep her secrets and be somewhat of a good friend for the time being. Things begin to take a turn as this friend ends up sleeping with the brother, throwing their friendship into the gutter and spoiling the freshly healed relationship between the siblings, causing them to drift once again. As the vacation comes to an end, the pair learn that neither of their situations and trauma with their father is fair to either of them and that it may be the last time they see eachother for a while after the vacation. This prompts the two to communicate their feelings by empathizing with one another, apologizing and reuniting; promising to be there for each other after the vacation, bonding over the shared bitterness for their father. The eldest son was expected to be a successful person by his deadbeat father who had abandoned him, only sending monthly checks for his ex-wife to raise him. Left feeling unlovable and doomed by his father, the younger sister comes to understand his side of the story and welcomes her only brother into her life loving him for the person he is. 

All of the short stories share the same theme: that love comes in different forms and is found through relationships and life experiences. The stories aren't necessarily meant to heal the reader or give answers, but to provide a sense of humanity and empathy through shared experiences of pain, love, loss, and confusion. It can be a guide to get through certain circumstances and feel each emotion instead of avoiding it while recognizing that love is more than romance. The concept of Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory indulges in the idea that we as individuals may feel ordinary and unlovable but there will always be some form of love for us somewhere in the universe. Of course, the metaphors and storylines teach us to love ourselves but SWWLYIAYDG also acknowledges the fact that it is not easy to love ourselves when there is no love shown for us by others. Even so, everyone is capable of being loved no matter how ordinary or extravagant, even through struggles of depression or trauma, love will always be in the cards.