Balancing the Elements of East and West

Although they say that Western culture tends not to be in touch with the elements as much as Eastern culture, I would say rather than judging it as more or less that it really is just different.

Had I grown up in my native Korean culture, perhaps I would be more aware of my Chinese horoscope and how being a fire dragon reveals itself in my character or daily life. Perhaps, I would even understand how it could have contributed to my being given up for adoption since girls born in the year of the dragon are considered less lucky in love and life due to deemed personality flaws of strength, stubbornness, and being headstrong - undesirable qualities in a lady. 

Instead, I grew up in a Western farming community where I learned how the wind is needed to help pollinate the crops and how the rainfall affects the watering process of the plants. I learned that fire can destroy with its rage and that a land full of trees provides the wood to fuel the flames. Also, the characteristics that might have been thought of as flaws in the East were celebrated and nurtured in my youth as a Western child.  

While I do understand that I am likely simplifying my comparison of the elements from the viewpoints of an East-West divide, I stand by the fact that it is really just differences that separate us. Not a sense of bigger, better, or right vs. wrong. 

The main difference for me is the focus. 

As a Western-raised transracial adoptee - born in Korea and raised in a Caucasian family - I think of the elements as something practical. Each one has a role to play in the physical world. There is no need to consider their mystical or abstract aspects. Yet, my DNA reveals that, in fact, the mysteries of being a fire dragon affect my psyche at a level that is sometimes so deep that it feels more like an abyss or wormhole to be avoided — there is no telling where it will take me. 

From a Western perspective, my fire element is something to be celebrated, as it arouses an image of passion and action which can lead to success as defined by a more capitalistic society. Meanwhile, this same quality in the East can be considered unfortunate. Success for a girl might be defined as a good match, focus on aesthetics, and a calm home. 

See, just different is the aim and perspective.

Upon finding myself now in the middle of these two seemingly opposing societies, I also understand myself as a combination of elements. My Western horoscope is a water sign that balances the Eastern fire. My Western horoscope is a crab that adds to the dragon of the East. And, there it is ultimately for me — a balance that adds to the full picture of who I am and what makes up my life.

When I consider the spaces or ways in which I might consider to be “in my element,” I find that it is vast like the endless sea, and also as specific as the seed for a particular plant.

Often in my life I have contemplated a question presented to me in various forms: “When do I let loose?” This question has always been a bit of a thorn in my side because I have not understood  the point of it. Why does it matter if I let loose? What if I never have? How is “loose” defined? If I do, so what? If I don’t, so what? So, the circle of questions have swirled around creating such a state that I came to find it annoying to even be asked. 

However, I think I have now found peace with it. 

To ring in the new year, we spent it at a luxury resort. We didn’t know anyone, yet were always surrounded by people. Everyone there had similar purposes - to enjoy our time in whatever way we liked. So, that is exactly what I did.

For New Year’s Eve, I drank a little and danced a lot. People watched, smiled, judged, joined in, chatted, and went on their own way. It was the best evening for me in a long time. I would say this is what it meant for me to “let loose.” The only person I knew was my partner, who is my person. He loves unconditionally and lets me be whoever I want to be when I want to be it. It’s freeing to be in companionship with him. So, in that freedom, surrounded by no one else, I let loose without a single care in the world — I was in my element.

When I considered what allowed me to be in my element of purity, I reflected that it was about embracing the balance, the middle ground, the lack of requirement to be right or wrong, good or bad, quiet or loud, fun or boring. There was no need to prove myself one way or another. There was no concern that later I would be part of conversations that would get back to me. When you know no one, it is easier to care less about being a topic in later conversations. 

It reminded me of why I loved living in NYC when I was doing my Master’s degree. It reminded me of why I have chosen the life of an expat instead of being amongst those who provided me the privilege to choose this way of life. It reminds me of why defining the idea of “letting loose” is complicated. 

Being in my element means not being confined to the boxes that judgment from others creates. Being in my element means having the freedom that anonymity provides. Being in my element means embracing the world in all its ups, downs, colors, pros and cons. Being in my element really means being in the in-between of East or West, and loving every minute of it.