Yellow Fever: A Diagnosis
A quick search on the trusty Urban Dictionary site gives a prompt definition of “yellow fever”: a sexual obsession felt by a (normally male) non-asian towards asians of the opposite gender. Of course, this idea of fetishizing asian women is nothing new. The history spans to at least the late 1800s when Victorian men visited Japan and became mesmerized by geishas. In 1887 novel “Madame Chrysanthème” written by Pierre Loti, Asian women were described as being “doll-like” and “subservient objects of lust.” In the United States, World War II spurred the first establishment of a military presence in Asia and subsequent creation of sex industries around the military bases resulted. From the “Recreation and Amusement Association'' following WWII, estimates of 200,000 Japanese women were coerced into prostitution by American soldiers. These practices extended into the Korean and Vietnam wars resulting in about 85% of American soldiers exploiting Asian women for sexual services. Many of the Asian women who were able to travel to the US, despite xenophobic immigration laws, were ones that left their poor families so they could earn some money through any means necessary, usually prostitution. Since then, the world has drastically changed and women, in general, have made great strides in fighting patriarchal ideals. Moreover, most men are probably unaware of the details of these horrific events. Yet, this decade old history has left media’s fetishization of us, Asian women, to linger in society through movies, TV shows, and other entertainment. It is definitely no coincidence we are stereotyped to be submissive and hyper-sexual. Moreover, the perception of Asian women has consistently been perpetuated as being morally degenerate, while sexually alluring. The idea of yellow fever is dangerous as it strips away personal identity into the generalization of all Asian females.
As I sat across the table, enjoying a nice dinner, I thought to myself how nice this first meeting seemed and asked my date about how he felt. “To be honest, I was excited for this date because...well...I’ve never dated an Asian before and you are just so... exotic looking,” he uttered. In a split second, my comfort level completely drained out of my body. My mind concurrently scattered to an empty void and a million places. Do I take that as a compliment? But what does looking exotic even mean…? Am I just exotic because I’m not white? What am I supposed to say back to him? My date truly was not a bad person. I’d even say that he was a kind person. However, as I reflected on these thoughts, it hit me that even though that man had been well-meaning, his sheltered life had made him ignorant. Alas, no second date followed. But it’s also no surprise to me that since that experience, I’ve continued to hear similar comments from other men.
“You’re pretty for an asian girl.”
“You’re the prettiest asian I’ve seen. You don’t look like the others; you look different.”
“I usually prefer petite, asian women. You’re just my type.”
“Ahhh haha are you my mail-order bride?”
Was I being pursued because of the appeal of my race? Was someone pursuing me with expectations and preconceived notions? The more I heard these comments, the more I realized that I had been passively accepting ignorance as an immutable action - when the truth was that ignorance can easily be altered. There is a difference between having a type and having a fetish. Of course, the existence of preferences when dating is totally okay, but there should be wariness when it leads to exclusive dating of a certain race. Fetishes exist when an entire ethnic group is assumed to have the same personality, values, and behavior. In the case of asian women, assumptions stemming from the model minority myth compounded with the stereotype of obedience and “willingness to please” attitude result in detrimental objectification.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend in regard to this objectification. As we chatted about different races and respective dating experiences of each race, he asked me if the stereotype of Asian women and existence of yellow fever was truly THAT bad. In the scope of all other stereotypes and consequences, it didn’t seem like the worst one, did it? At first, the nature of the question overwhelmed me. But the more I pondered over the question, the more I felt like it trivialized my experiences of being objectified. I didn’t know how to respond. How was I supposed to express that any stereotype, whether positive or negative, can make someone feel like they are just seen as a medium for sexual pleasure? I didn’t think that being Asian was any better or worse than any other race. I also knew that all females had to deal with disrespectful men. My discussion with him simply stemmed from me feeling that it was unfair that being objectified, as a result of my race, was a concern I needed to have in the back of my head when dating.
Just as there are many opinions of men who date Asian women, the men that Asian women date is also another well “discussed” topic. Personally, I have not gotten a lot of backlash from friends/family in my dating life. However, comments have been made here and there about “my type” being a pretty, white boy. The truth is I really never paid attention to the “type” of person I was drawn to. I didn’t and still don’t believe that I had tastes that catered to certain physical appearances. For me, I was just drawn to people that I was drawn to and if my personality matched with theirs then attraction would stem. Growing up, I was surrounded by mainly white people. My school was 97% Caucasian and 3% “Other” ethnicities. Thus, I didn’t grow up with much diversity. The external environment I was exposed to for most of my life was quite westernized.
Figure 1: Numbers from Quartz based on respondents who answered “yes” on “Are You Interested” Facebook app
As a result, the majority of men that I have dated have been Caucasian. I don’t believe that biracial dating is any more difficult or worse from dating the same race. There are differences, but they just stem from other areas. For my parents and myself, I have noticed that cultural differences are often emphasized even more in biracial relationships. But this is by no means a negative, especially if both sides are open minded and willing to learn. There is so much that can be shared about different traditions. Though, I will say that a source of difficulty that I have experienced in biracial relationships is the stubbornness in attempting to understand or sympathize with another person’s culture. However, I believe that is more of a personality trait, than cultural consequence. As for my friends’ responses to my dating history, I have been lightly teased, but nothing has been too negative. I think it’s natural for attraction to be correlated with surroundings. For me, personally, I don’t have any judgement against any race. I could end up marrying any ethnicity! It’s just that my pool of people that I interact with has always been mainly white, so it makes sense that my dating pool is similarly patterned.
I find it saddening when I hear Asian men lamenting Asian women on dating white men and labelling us as “traitors.” I believe this critique to be quite hypocritical. Based on a study done by researchers, Facebook data from 2.4 million heterosexaul users was collected and examined to spot the impact of race on online dating (Figure 1). Interestingly enough, men in the study had higher preferences for women outside of their race. Moreover, men of all races, EXCEPT for Asian men, preferred Asian women. Why is it that the dating preferences of Asian men are not talked about more? It seems like the topic and critique of dating amongst Asians is very one-sided. Moreover, Asian women have explained that some Asian men still abide by the traditional roles that females should play in a relationship. Thus, they do not interact with those men simply because they do not want to involve themselves in a situation where freedom and independence are stripped by cultural norms. Of course, this subset of data should be viewed with light skepticism as it is only one study. But as more data is collected, more insight about race and dating is revealed. For instance, another study performed by Kevin Lewis at the University of California, San Diego, analyzed 125,000 OKCupid users over 2.5 months. He noticed that people who were contacted by someone of a different race were more likely to initiate future contact with that race later on. Thus, reaching out and taking the leap of faith actually does widen the pool of potential partners! Being willing to overcome fear may lead to more opportunities and better communication. This advice extends to many other realms of life, and is definitely something that I am working on, as well.
I think that in realizing my self-worth and importance as a Taiwanese-American woman, I have been able to embrace my individuality and approach dating with an open mindset. I think that having an open heart and wanting to learn another person’s culture and upbringing (even if they are the same race as you) can be so powerful! We are each a result of the growth through our personal experiences and no experience is less important than another. Being able to know another person’s race doesn’t give you any insight towards what makes them themselves, but chatting with them and hearing their stories will. I’ve learned that interracial relationships, whether intimate or not, will always have misguided notions involved.
There will be moments where the opposing party just won’t be able to understand, even if they try, and part of this is just due to society’s narrow mindset. People can be well meaning and they can still be ignorant. I still vividly recall an instance when one of my exes commented on me playing Jay Chou on the aux during a car ride. He rolled his eyes and said he would never let me have aux control again so I could play more “Asian” music. To this day, I’m still not sure if he was joking or not.
Though regardless, even if it was a joke, it wasn’t funny and the comment was unnecessary. Being referenced as the “Asian” girlfriend in a group of Cauasian family/friends is unnecessary. Sticking any racial label onto any subject is unnecessary. I’m proud of my culture and my growth in debunking these labels that dwindle me down to just my race. The process of finding someone extends to so much more than attraction. It isn’t just about spotting the things you like in another person, but it’s about loving them despite the conflicts and issues that may arise through mutual growth and understanding of differences, no matter if they are racially related or not! So, while the CDC states that yellow fever is incurable, I believe that with the proper treatment and attitude, it can be managed successfully.
